When you see a child struggling, you raise awareness by pointing out the various violations in proper form. A little less of this over here, extra accent on that over there.
To be clear, the thing we’re pointing out is very important. Sometimes it’s as trifling as “do not speak to me that way” or “posture up”, but it’s much deeper than that. We are saying “This is a clear sign you’re focusing on the wrong things. You’re distracted from what matters.”
But what’s funny about these corrections is that they forget that high art (and I would argue that our role playing and contortions are one of the most sacred arts) comes from within, not without. You can’t just tell someone to live right; you have to help their racing mind to let go of the wheel for brief moments and make a direct call to the part of their heart that is broadcasting unconditional love at deafening volume, so you don’t have to say shit.
At work, in my marriage, as a father and friend, the best thing I can do for my people is refine myself as a tool of God in their lives, but the second best thing I can do is remind them to dial in that frequency coming from that little glowing orb of love inside. From this place comes all the energy that is required to honor that value with our bodies, to make my offering of devotion and surrender.
So when the child misbehaves, what I should really do is remind them that “We are Priors, we live on the James River, we serve our family, we honor God” (echoing theme to Apocalypto). Remind that in service of our own pleasure we are quite a boring story of exponentially more ME. Remind them that we devote each breath towards expressing love for our lives, that Priors pour torrents of gratitude out onto our lives and watch them magically reshape, rather than endeavoring to shape them by mountain moving or advanced strategy.
Gratitude: That’s the only real practice. It’s going to look different for everyone but all the things we typically criticize other people for are really just metastasized failings of gratitude, now breaking through the surface in the way a child reacts to not getting what they want.
Do not teach desire, then form, then satisfaction. Teach gratitude first, gratitude as desire, gratitude as the form itself, and gratitude as the most delicious satisfaction.
fordprior.com 